Yearning for Love Read online

  Mom looks at me with her slanted head look.

  “You have some things to work out before either of us makes a solid decision. I have savings in the business account. I’ll just check to find the most qualified technician for that window and any others that are off-kilter.”

  “But Mom!”

  “No ‘but mom,’ Corina Michele Temple. Period.” When Mom uses my full name, I’m in trouble. I zip my lip, opening my mouth only to spoon posole in. I steal a quick look at Nate, and see that he’s struggling not to laugh. His dimples appear, disappear and reappear, as his mouth quivers.

  After a few minutes of quiet, interrupted only by the “clink” of spoons against our bowls, Nate ventures in.

  “Brenda, how long have you owned your B&B? You run a top-notch operation. You must get a lot of return business.”

  “I’ve owned it for going on eight years, after Corey’s dad died. He had set up some investments, and I decided it would be best to have a solid land investment, as well as my more-liquid investments, so, when I found the listing here, I applied for a loan and was approved. I did the work to convert it from a large private home to a B&B – mainly in the kitchen and the home infrastructure, although I had to upgrade to comply with state and local codes. I’ve been bringing guests in steadily ever since. So far, it’s proved to be a good move for me, although as I get closer to retirement . . .”

  I look at Mom, wanting to repeat my earlier words. She anticipates this and gives me “her look.” I keep my mouth shut. After we clean up from dinner, I pull Lily and Gabe out again and nestle into a comfortable recliner in the family room. At about ten that night, my eyes start to get heavy, so I decide it’s time to go upstairs and go to bed. In the shower, I puzzle over a way to let Nate know that I’m willing to talk, but no promises. I’m not able to come up with any ideas, so I decide to read some more, then sleep on the situation. I’ve been reading for about fifteen minutes when I hear a quiet knock on my door. Thinking it’s Mom, I open it wide, then stand there frozen as I see Nate.

  “Please, Corey. I need to talk to you,” he pleads, as he holds the door.

  “Fine. Come in and talk, then go back to your own room,” I tell him, imitating my mother’s pert, slant-headed posture. I force myself to step back, and allow him to walk in. I shrug and sit down in the comfortable armchair in one corner of my room.

  Nate walks in, after shutting the door. Uh-oh! This means trouble.

  My eyes widen, and I bring my knees to my chest, putting my feet against the cushion in a defensive posture. I wrap my arms around my legs, and force myself to relax. Nate sits on my bed and gazes at me.

  “Corey, I am so sorry. Brenda – your mom – told me just how badly I screwed up last week in El Paso. I . . . there’s really no excuse, but . . . I was just so worried about my dad that . . .”

  “You were an insensitive ass? Yep. I’ll agree with that,” I say curtly. I won’t let him know how badly he hurt me! I won’t!

  “I . . . deserve that,” he says. “I won’t try to plead worry over my dad. What I did was just plain wrong and, as you said, insensitive. I handled my feelings badly, and you got the worst of it.”

  “Okay, now that you’re done heaping ashes on your robe of sackcloth, you can leave now. I was about to go to bed,” I tell him.

  “No.”

  “What? I don’t want to talk to you. I just want you to leave my room. Leave Ruidoso tomorrow, and go back to El Paso without me. I’m resigning, Mr. Drummond. Whether you like it or not. I can’t work with you anymore!” I say strongly.

  Nate simply crosses his arms, and gives me a level look out with those devastating blue eyes. I can’t look at them, or I’m sunk.

  “Mr. Drummond, I’m no longer your employee. I plan to stay here and work with my mother,” I say in a flat tone of voice.

  “Don’t make a decision until we’ve talked. Once we both completely understand each other, if you still want to leave, I won’t try to stop you. Just, please . . . listen to me,” he pleads.

  My eyes rise involuntarily to his. Was that a note of . . . begging I just heard in his voice? I see fear and desperation in his eyes and the lines of his face. Wow. He must be really anxious to unload. I decide I’ll hear him out . . . then go ahead with my plan to resign.

  “Go ahead, then. Talk, then leave,” I tell him, keeping my arms firmly crossed over my torso.

  Nate heaves out a huge sigh of relief, then sits down on the floor in front of my armchair. He’s going to make me look at his face, regardless, isn’t he?

  “Corey, like I said a few minutes ago, I screwed up in a huge way. No excuses, here. I was wrong, wrong, wrong! You deserved much better – connectedness, compassion, a promise that I would call you, not my damned office staff. I treated you ‘just’ like an employee, not someone with whom I’ve made a fantastic connection. Your mother lit into me when we talked about this, and she let me know that I was completely wrong in how I handled the situation. I like your mother. Brenda. She’s direct and honest. She really does love you . . . You’re really fortunate, because she’s your biggest champion.

  “You might be wondering why she put conditions on your offer to stay here and work with her. She wants you to know that you made the right decision, for the right reasons – so that you won’t eventually regret landing here, in an isolated, beautiful region of the country.

  “Corey, after I invited you to Germany, and we spent that fantastic week there, you had the right to expect better treatment. I’d like to make that up to you, if I could,” Nate said, with a note of hope in his voice.

  “No. You . . . rejected me with the words, tone and attitude you used in front of the hospital. You . . . put me in my place, let me know that I’m ‘only’ an employee. It was like that week in Germany never even happened. I don’t know if you know or care how that felt, but I’ll be more than happy to tell you, Mr. Drummond.” I see him wince as I use his last name. Good. Let him feel bad! . . Even though no money exchanged hands, you did buy that dress; you did pay for the meals and our hotel suite. In short, Mr. Drummond, I was no better than a common escort. I . . . I didn’t like that one damned bit. You know why? It’s because I have value - to my family, to your company . . . and to me. And, when you ‘put me in my place,’ I decided I was going to honor myself, even if you hadn’t. Therefore, tomorrow, feel free to pack your bag, put it in your car, and wave Ruidoso bye-bye, because you no longer have any obligation to me, other than sending me my final paycheck and the paperwork for my 401k so I can find an investment firm to help me roll it over. Mr. Drummond, I am not going back to El Paso. I am staying right here, in Ruidoso, where I will work with my mother and live happily – away from you.” I refuse to tell him how I feel about him. My eyes look away from him, and I wrap my arms more tightly around my legs. I force myself to ignore the look of pain in Nate’s – Mr. Drummond’s – eyes. As I look away, I feel the telltale sting of tears in my eyes. Not wanting them to fall, I inhale carefully, and look at a far point in my room. I focus on staying calm and collected.

  Nate: I deserved everything Corey was saying. I deserved the coldness in her voice. I had been a complete asshole. But, dammit, I want the chance to redeem myself. I want to know that she’s willing to take me into her arms, kiss me, and allow me to make love to her. She’s become so important to me – I need her in my life, and not just as my executive assistant. I want her by my side, sharing things with me, laughing with me and sharing a bed with me. I risk a look at her – she is really angry. Her eyes have gone a very dark green, and the corners of her mouth are pulled down. I get the feeling she’s about to cry, so I look more closely into her beautiful, expressive eyes. I’m right. She has tears collecting at the bottoms of her eyes, and she’s refusing to allow them to fall. I stretch my hand out and she pulls away from me. Fuck. I really did hurt her. I may have lost her, really lost her. If that’s the case, I have to man up and handle it, but there’s going to be a huge hole in my life – and in my heart
. I decide to risk everything and speak.

  “Corey, I’m apologizing. I want you in my life, as more than just my executive assistant – as more than my employee. I want to make love to you . . . I want to laugh with you, and share things with you. I want to kiss you and hold you in my arms. I’m asking you to take me back.” As I speak, I stand up and run my hand gently down Corey’s face. God, I’d forgotten how silky-smooth her skin is! She tries to turn from me, but I’m too fast for her. I’m kneeling right beside her, and as she turns her head, she meets my eyes. I put my arms in a position that brackets her, so she can’t get away from me. I can’t resist her soft, delicious lips. I feel myself moving closer and closer to her, until finally, my lips make contact with hers. The shock of awareness hits her just as hard as it hits me. I place my lips gently on hers, getting her used to my being this close to her. Slowly, her lips warm up and begin moving in time with mine. I feel more brave now, so I allow my tongue to trace the shape of her beautiful, full lips. She moans, barely audibly, but I still hear it. My hands close softly over her upper arms so she can’t escape. I have to show her how I feel – but if she makes me leave, so be it. Until then, I’m working to convince her that I know how wrong I was, and how much I need her in my life. I feel her put her hands on my arms, and I slow down just a bit – is she going to push me away or pull me closer in? I feel her pulling me closer to her.

  Corey: Oh wow, his lips are delicious! They’re a taste of heaven that I hadn’t realized I missed so much. He kisses me so softly and tenderly, he must love me. I allow him to keep kissing me, and I begin to pull him closer to me. My mouth opens, inviting his tongue to tangle with, and love, my tongue. I hear his breath beginning to rasp sharply in his throat, and I remember this sound from our lovemaking. He’s becoming fully aroused. His hands flex on my arms, squeezing and releasing them. I begin to feel a heavy fullness in my breasts, as I become aroused as well. Somehow, I untangle my legs from the position I had them in, and I accidentally kick Nate on the chest.

  “I’m sorry! I just want to be more comfortable,” I mumble against his lips.

  “Here,” he says. He takes one arm away from me and untangles my legs, placing them on both sides of him. Now, I’m totally open to him – well, almost. I’m still clothed, but I get the feeling that will soon be changing. Surely, he’ll tell me he loves me now! He comes in closer to me on his knees, wrapping his arms around me, and kissing me deeply. One hand slips around to my front, and he covers one breast with his hand. Ohhh! The heat! I feel my nipple beginning to bud under my pajama top, and I know Nate feels it happening, because his breath develops that sweet little hitch that’s so uniquely ‘Nate.’ I rest my hand on the soft skin of his neck, reveling in how it feels against the skin of my hand. It’s like . . . like little currents of electricity are going from him to me and back again. I feel Nate’s hand moving down to the hem of my pajama top, pulling it up and exposing my skin. As my top catches my arms, I raise them up so he can take the top off – it’s becoming a very irritating barrier between the two of us.

  Nate: We’re kissing and she’s aroused. I need to be as close as possible to Corey. She puts one hand on the back of my neck, and it feels like a second set of lips, exchanging, not only kisses and sensation, but emotion. I pull her pajama top over her head, and she’s gloriously bare up top – Oh, my God, and I had risked losing this? I allow my hand to cover one beautiful little ti,t and I feel the nipple becoming a rock-hard bud in the palm of my hand. She begins to breathe more quickly, and she pulls my own top off and over my head. I lift her up against me, so her bare feet are dangling in the air. To support herself, Corey wraps her arms around my neck. As her legs dangle in front of me, she decides she’ll be more comfortable wrapping them around my waist. Oh, my God! Now, she’s got my dick caught in between my stomach and her gorgeous pussy.

  I have to sit on her bed. She allows her legs to rest on the bed in back of me. I push her pajama pants and panties down, then lift her and stand so I can strip them completely off her. I need free access to her clit.

  “Put me down, Nate.” Her voice is fuzzed with desire, but I’m wary.

  “Why?” I ask.

  “I want to get your pants off you. Equal opportunity fondling here,” Corey says, as her voice goes lower.

  I set her down, and she quickly unbuckles my belt and opens my pants. As she lowers the zipper, she allows the back of her hand to brush against my erection. My eyes close at the sensation. As soon as she’s finished torturing me, she quickly lowers my jeans and boxers down.

  Corey: Nate bends down to pull a condom out of his wallet, and he tosses it on my bed. Sitting back down, he wraps my legs around him, and begins playing with me. First my boobs, then my pussy and clit. Soon, he has me undulating my hips and moaning into his mouth. I grab his erection and play with it. His own hips are moving back and forth, as he focuses totally on my clit, massaging and manipulating it until I feel the forest fire of desire and completion flaring inside me. The tremors start, and soon they are quakes of feeling, contraction, and sensation, as I come again and again. I squeeze his erection, not wanting to make him come.

  Nate: I feel Corey coming against my hand, as she moans softly into my mouth. She’s mindful of her mother in her own room at the end of the hall. She stops moving her hand up and down my shaft, and instead squeezes it. I take this as a signal to scoot back on the bed and lie down on my back, placing Corey on top.

  Corey: I’m on top and Nate has his hands around my waist, holding me above him. He lowers me slowly, then impales me with his shaft. I release a long, shaky sigh as I feel him filling me completely. I’m home – I feel like I’m where I belong. The wanting and sensations are still inside me, driving me to hug his sides with my legs, and begin moving up and down. I decide to tease him – when I go up, he’s nearly completely out of me. Soon, the time for games is over – my desire is rocketing up again and I begin to move up and down more forcefully on top of my lover. Nate picks up on my new urgency and begins thrusting his own hips up and down. I feel him flex and grow even bigger inside me, and he soon brushes against my “sweet spot,” while whispering,”You feel delicious– you turn me on so much!” Too soon, I am coming again, squeezing around him convulsively, and milking him as he comes. I moan low in my throat and he growls.

  “Corey! Ahhh, God! Sweetheart, you’re so necessary to me. I just want to be with you, and make love with you over and over. “

  I collapse against Nate, breathing heavily, and sighing, “Nate, you’re the best lover a girl could have!” Soon, we fall asleep in each other’s arms, cheek to cheek, breathing in sync together. This feels right, having him back in my arms in my bed. As my eyes close, I’m aware that something is at the very edge of my consciousness, trying to get my attention. I promise myself that I’ll examine it . . . later.

  Sometime later, I feel Nate’s erection prodding the side of my leg. This feeling causes me to feel horny once again, but horny towards my handsome lover, Nate. I’m still half-asleep when he positions himself over me, in between my legs. I grab his hips and pull him into me, and we begin moving in concert with each other, making sweet, fantastic love. As we do so, Nate kisses and sucks my nipples, sending a rushing sensation down to my core, where it ripples and grows. My whole being longs for him, and desires oneness with his being, with no barriers between us. What beautiful music we make, as we build to our climax! He jets inside me as he comes – then, he opens his eyes wide.

  “Oh, my God, Corey. You’re not going to believe this. We just made love without a condom.”

  These words pierce my lassitude and my eyes open.

  “And I don’t use protection. Oh, my God, Nate!” I try to sit up, but Nate stays where he is, on top of me.

  “Wait. You may not get pregnant . . .”

  “Or I might!” I continue, trying to push him off me.

  “Corey, what are you doing? It’s . . . there’s nothing you can do. It’s too late. I’ve already come inside you
and it’s . . . it’s up there. Go get cleaned up and come back to bed. It’s cold,” Nate says.

  I get up and do everything I can to get the semen out of me. Slowly, I realize he’s right, so I just clean myself up, close my robe and go back to bed. Nate feels me getting back into bed, and wraps his arms around me. I try to go to sleep, but the prospect of becoming pregnant keeps me awake. It scares me, and at the same time, excites me. There’s something else, just at the edge of my awareness, but my eyes are starting to get heavy. I promise myself once again that I will try to figure out what that is – in a . . .

  My eyes fly open, and I look at my bedside clock. Nearly three. I know what I was trying to remember now! Nate said I was ‘necessary’ to him . . . he just wants to be with me . . . but there was no mention of love. I roll over and look at Nate sleeping beside me, with one arm wrapped securely around my waist. I begin feeling anger growing. The knowledge that I might have been used begins slowly seeping through me – which kicks my anger to a whole, new level. My mind goes over everything he said – and I verify for myself that he never mentioned “love.” My anger becomes a glowing bonfire, throwing heat. Again, I look at Nate, and I’m amazed that he can’t feel the heat of my anger. So I swat the back of my hand against him.

  “Umph! Corey? You . . . wha’? What’s wrong?” Nate slurs.

  “Get the hell out of my bed,” I hiss at him. I see him rub his hands over his sleepy face as he tries to catch up to where I am . . . tries to understand what I’m saying.

  “Are you . . . worried about . . . I made sure the door . . . Corey, what is it?”

  “‘I just want to be with you.’ You told me that I’m ‘necessary’ to you. Yeah, in bed! You tried to fool me, Mr Drummond, but I don’t fool! You want me to be with you . . . when it’s convenient for you. And when it’s not, then I’m the little executive assistant once again. Well, Mr. Drummond, I don’t play that kind of game! Now, get out of my bed!” I order.